Color Yourself Whole

Color Yourself Whole

I had an Akashic Records reading this morning. This was my first-ever phone session. I have given readings via Skype and long distance energy healings, but never a phone reading. I guess I always felt I connected best with a picture or a face, but again, I learn that the healing intentions and the spirit guides are all that matter. Also, I am reminded that I have nothing to do with the healing that occurs or the “work” that gets done, I’m simply a messenger and the messages I give are also intended for me.

This particular client suffered from a lot of health issues. His questions were all framed around his various health conditions. We asked the Records several questions and learned that the origin of these health issues was related to a childhood trauma. The guides made it very clear to me that his condition split his life in two, a life before illness, and a life after illness. However, the reality is that the two were linked together and the origin of the issue was what needed to be healed for the underlying health issues to be resolved.

Think about that moment in your life when everything changed. We all have that defining moment. It can be a realization that something wasn’t as we imagined, it can be an actual event of abuse or a break up, it can be the death of a loved one, a parent’s divorce, or even a car accident. For me it was at 10 years old. I remember littering the neighbor’s pool because he had been mean to me and my cousin. I got in a lot of trouble and was “de-throned” from the “good little girl” pedestal. I had spent years trying to get back on that pedestal.

It took me over 10 years to identify this moment, but when I did, everything made sense.

The first step: Identify that moment. If you do not know it yet, stop here and take some time to think about what did it. What created the false sense of self, the low self esteem, the inferiority or superiority complex? What was the moment or event that created the split?

If you’re aware of the situation, the person, the moment then keep reading.

As I gave the reading today my client told me he was aware of the issues that brought him to this ill state. He related the issues to his mother and validated all that the guides had shared to that point.

Listen up everyone, knowledge of the event, person or circumstance isn’t enough. We have been taught that if we know the trigger we can change. We have been told that self-knowledge creates behavior change. Everyone knows that cigarettes are bad for them, but people keep smoking. Knowledge and awareness are not enough.

For most of us, identifying our wounds is not enough.

We are much more than our intellect and our reason. On a rational level we can understand that a behavior is harmful, but at the emotional and spiritual levels we are still affected. My client understood that his mother could not give him what he needed. He understood that his self-worth should not be tied into his mother’s behavior, but at an emotional level he was still behaving as an injured 5 year-old whose mom couldn’t love him. The split occurred in all of us and it is now time to heal.

When this event, person or situation splits our life in half we are essentially living a double life – the logical life and the emotional one.

We are not broken. We are not individuals missing pieces. We are not problems. We are whole, integrated, souls who just need a little reminding that we are whole.

After the client and I were on the same page and he was given some more information, we reached the end of the session. I asked the guides what he could do to integrate his knowledgeable self with the separated emotional self that had taken over. What could this wounded 5 year-old do to heal himself whole again? Color!

Because throughout his session there was a clear split, the guides wanted him to repair this split. They told him to draw a picture of himself daily where one part of him was dark and the other was light. This distinction showed the split person he had become. They told him to take a colored crayon and unite the two parts of himself. They told him to pick a color that he equated with wholeness so that he could connect his two halves. I’m not a drawer, so if you’re not either make a stick figure and connect the dark and light parts.

This seems like a simple exercise; however, I tried it myself today.

I was surprised at the emotions that came up while coloring. Things I hadn’t thought about for years. People I had forgotten and situations I barely remember details about. I didn’t just color in a straight line, or join both parts together. I really started thinking about what I feel incomplete about. I started thinking about the areas that don’t deserve to be colored in because they’re broken. I started focusing on the emotional part of the events and strayed away from the intellectual or logical parts that I’ve been “explaining away” for years.

This is a cathartic exercise. Write down the emotions and thoughts that come up. Track where your pain, anger, frustration come from. As the guides showed me, unless you can heal and trace back those areas in the past, your present life will serve as a reminder of what needs to be healed and let go of. Only then are you truly whole.

I completed my drawing and then decided to burn it. I chose to transform that energy into healing energy and set it free. With no more remnants of a split person, I am now transformed and whole.

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