There is a technique called co-bedding, where preemie twins are placed in the same bed to help each other get stronger. The idea is that if the weaker twin lies next to the stronger twin that he/she will recover quicker. Studies have shown this to be true.
However, tonight while I was giving a reading the guides showed me the image of two babies in the incubator with the healthier one becoming weaker and the weaker one becoming stronger. This was the image in response to my client’s question about why she felt she wasn’t meant to be in a relationship.
The guides explained that when she is in a relationship she is the “healthy” one and over time she allows the other person to suck her of her nourishment and her strength. They end up healthy and she ends up depleted.
How many of us have been in this same relationship over and over again?
As in the case with twins, couples often become a “we” and lose their individuality. In relationships this is a common issue as well. It is known as fusion. We become a unit and lose a little of who we are, day by day. If you have been rescuing your partner, losing yourself, melding into his/her boundary, it’s time that you distinguish yourself from this other person and grow healthy and strong again.
There is nothing more that our soul requires and desires than true authenticity. Some people may need to leave their current relationship while others can truly become authentic while remaining in the relationship. When you are in a relationship and you feel that you’re being sucked dry, remember you are only projecting what you think of yourself. When you don’t value yourself you’re basically asking to be taken advantage of. The other person is not the problem!
Often times we are in a relationship pretending to be something we are not. During this same reading the client asked about a “flirtatious friend”. They told her that her current boyfriend had her behaving like the Virgin Mary and pretending to be something she wasn’t. The new friend allowed her to be what she truly was, a free spirit.
Honor your true self. If you are not the Virgin Mary, then don’t act like it, the truth eventually comes out.
One of my favorite movies is Runaway Bride. In that movie the reporter asked “what kind of eggs does Maggie like?” after each interview with the groom-to-be that had been left at the altar, Maggie is representative of many of us. She liked the eggs her fiancée (s) liked. She had no clue who she truly was, not even for her breakfast!
The person you are with will not make you happy, only you can make you happy. If you’re in a relationship where you are feeding the other person, you will soon be in emotional and spiritual intensive care if you do not start giving yourself more of what you need. It’s time to save yourself. When you start nourishing and feeding yourself, you are making others healthier and strong. When you let others take from you, both of you get weak.
Here’s to self-love and authentic living!