“I am a child in a 40 year old body”. “I have never wanted to grow up”. “I think I hold a bit of innocence because I’m a bit naïve”. They are all lies!
My best friend in high school dropped out when he was 16 because he had gotten into drugs. We lost touch and several years later I walked into a flower shop and he was the manager. He was so grown up! He was married to a woman who had children. He was an involved parent, a responsible adult at 23. We talked for a while and I asked how and why he decided to finally grow up. He said “I woke up one day and I was an adult”’.
I grew up quite sheltered. I went from my parents’ house to my husband’s house, and couldn’t really understand this back then, but when I got divorced, it totally made sense. I remember standing in my new empty apartment after the second year of my divorce. I was with my mother and my new couch was being delivered. I had never owned any piece of furniture of my own. When I first separated I rented a furnished place to not have to deal with most of these issues. When the couch arrived I started crying and hugged my mother. At that moment I knew I was no longer a child, that adulthood had just “happened” and it was time to face it.
Years later, when I learned astrology, I understood that the moon phase in which we’re born plays a key role in defining us. In my case I was a crescent moon. A keyword for crescent moon babies is “breakthrough”. A new identity is formed which needs to overcome old standards, attitudes and structures in order to fully function as a whole and free individual. For me it was taking a risk, like leaving a marriage with 3 kids in diapers. As scary as it was to become an adult, this became a determining factor in my life. Often when clients learn about their moon phase they are able to identify some pivotal event which came to delineate the life they knew before and the one after. We all have events like this in our lives. Unfortunately, for some of us this happens at 4 years old. For others it may happen at 12, and for some it will take place much later in life. It doesn’t matter when you grow up, just know that it will happen, whether you embrace it or not.
I remember a good friend in College whose mother was still behaving like a child at 50. Her parents babied her to the point that she was unable to even cook her own meals or hold a job. Once her father died it was as if she catapulted into adulthood. I ran into that friend after many years and she told me “my mother is a different person after my grandfather died”. The reality is that growing up is hard to do, but we are all thrust into adulthood at some point or another.
Yesterday I was giving a reading to a client. The guides immediately showed me two paths, one dark, one light. I explained that she goes back and forth between both paths. She asked the Masters & Teachers what she could do to stay on the lit path and they told her to stay aware. Awareness is the solution. In her case, awareness means that she should remember that she is guided, that she is in control of her life and that she has choices. The dark path takes her back to her victimhood and to an old pattern of thinking that things are done to her and she is helpless, like a child.
We asked a little more about this and they reminded her of a time in her childhood when she had out-of-body experiences. This was a coping mechanism to overcome trauma.
They showed me her adult body attached to her childhood head. Next they showed me an energy cord connecting her adult and childhood selves through the third chakra. The third chakra is where we hold our power, self-esteem, and self-worth. Her power, or powerlessness of childhood, was carried into her adult life. She was giving her power away via the third chakra and it was linked to this childhood victim mode; therefore as an adult she behaved as a victim, hence the dark path she was consistently on.
I told her I needed to cut the cord between the adult self and childhood self which held victim patterns. She said NO! I was shocked. I asked her why she was resisting if this would help her remain on her lit path. She said that she believed that this connection to her childhood self is what kept her fun loving and youthful. She also believed that it kept her innocent and separate from this ugly adult world she rejects.
We explored this much more and realized that her definition of “adult” is what really had her holding onto something unhealthy. The guides explained that the childhood moments she was holding onto weren’t even the best of times or happy times, it was just an unhealthy connection to a past time, where she should have been happy and should have been innocent, but really was a victim of circumstance. She grew up in a communist country with a political regime that kept her in poverty. Why would anyone want to hold onto that? This shows us that our subconscious beliefs are often erroneous. We can’t make sense logically of what we hold onto or why, but we do, for whatever reason, and it dictates the way we act and react in so many circumstances.
Many of us believe that childhood should be happy, that being a teenager should bring a wonderful love, that marriage is bliss and that old age is filled with travel and early bird dinners with friends. The reality is that an inordinate number of children are poor or raped, many teens experience depression, half of marriages end in divorce and old age is unpredictable. We need to eradicate these ideals we hold ourselves to. We have to live our own life, in the now, not in the past or future, and stop obsessing over what could have been or what could be. Like the song says “don’t let the past remind us of who we are not now”, but don’t let the past dictate who we are now either…THAT IS the real challenge!
The guides explained to her that she had defined the word ADULT as negative, cruel, bad, boring and laden with responsibility. Where was the fun? She totally resonated with this definition and that’s exactly why she wouldn’t have the cord cut. When the guides gave her a different take on things the session started to change.
The guides told her to pick another word for “adult”. She asked them for suggestions and they said “Master of your life”. She loved it! Suddenly her face changed, her voice became upbeat and it was as if the victim dissolved. She embraced the idea that being a Master of her own life meant she could take control of her finances, have fun and be everything that she really wanted her life to be.
I cut the cords. I saw the adult physical body integrating with the spiritual body and she became whole again. I asked her how she felt and she said “happy”. She told me that for the first time in 45 years she felt as if she was in control of her life and knew things would change.
I have always said we make love to our problems. I know that we define ourselves with these problems because if we didn’t have them who would we be? Think about it, we’d be a blank slate with no “history”. The reality is that these stories are not who we are. We are not the abuse or the violence, the wealth or the title – all of that is ego, not our true essence.
We are a whole, spiritual being, and we are here to reintegrate ourselves as this client did.
If you’ve been afraid to grow up, thinking you are holding onto some innocence that was stripped away at a young age because of death, divorce or trauma, know that you are always a Child of this Universe, which will never dissipate. What you want to eliminate are those false ideas that you’ve linked to your identity that aren’t exactly positive or healthy.
Let’s cut our energy cords to the false-self that dictates and destroys us and get back on the path of light, which is where we belong and who we truly are.
If there is a word that makes you cringe, change it, redefine it, or make up your own word! You no longer have to be a slave to a word or a situation that once held you in bondage.
After this session I looked up the actual definition of “adult” and all it refers to is physical development “a person who is fully grown or developed”. The word has no link to responsibility, finances, fun, or maturity.
Eliminate those words from your vocabulary that are forcing you to stay in victim mode and redefine yourself and your life!