But Why?


If you have raised children or have been around children you know they go through the “WHY” phase. They ask WHY about everything! Scientists say this is a genuine attempt at getting at the truth. Do you realize that we are no different when we pray, plead or demand from God?

Who knew that as “God’s children” we stay in the “why” phase for most of our lives.  

Despite our status as adults here in the physical world, we remain God’s children, and as such, toddlers for most of our lives.

We are not here to know the whys of life’s greatest mysteries or even of our daily travails. If you knew why your husband cheated or why you lost your home or why you got fired, would it really be better? Think of how annoying it is to have a child continuously ask “why, why, but why, but why? Eventually you get annoyed and say “Because I said so”! Does God have to come down and say “because I said so” before we surrender our need to understand the cause behind every effect?

We are part of a bigger plan. We are part of a web that is so intricate that we cannot even imagine all the “behind the scenes” orchestration it takes to make things the way they are.

Every one of us has asked “but why” to later find out that it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us.

I was the dean of a nursing school for several years and the requirements were tough. One student failed for missing .2 on her final score. When you see this in action you know that there has to be a plan, a bigger picture.  What else can explain being so close, but yet so far? Minutes away or miles away, if something isn’t for you, you will not have it; however, if something is for you, no matter how farfetched it appears, it will be yours!

At the end of every semester when it was time to tell students their fate, I always had to give my speech “one day you will see this happened for a reason.” I have seen very few of those students again; however, those who have returned have said “I now understand and it was the best thing that ever happened”. We may not ever know, but we need to trust that the bigger plan is working in our favor.

If we outgrow the “why” stage then we evolve into typical teenagers complaining we do not have enough. The “I want, I want, I want” stage.

I taught my children at a young age that they should love their parents even when we are empty handed, but we do not approach God this way. Instead we say “I want a new job God, I want to get the corner lot, I want to fall in love oh and I want a new car too”. It’s okay to want, we are human and we are living a physical existence; however, are your prayers all about getting “stuff”. Carolyn Myss (probably my favorite spiritual teacher of modern time) calls us “stuffologists”. Are you a stuffologist? Are you constantly in a state of “God, I want ______? “

How can we enhance the quality of our requests to God? Instead of asking for a menu of empty calories, we can ask for the most amazing feast of spiritual nourishment.


“God I want the power to forgive” I want to be the best friend to my enemies” “God, I want to release this anger from my heart”. What about “I want to be a source of refuge for someone” or “I want to pray for those in need, those who are suffering”.

It is time we stop acting like whining kids and teens who “why” and “want” all day and start maturing spiritually, learning to surrender and serve.

Have a blessed day!




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