Ever feel you spend your whole day catering to everyone else’s needs? Most people do, especially women. So for Mother’s Day here are two great exercises the guides want to gift all mothers (and dads too).
Imagine you go to the grocery store, buy the items you need to make dinner, go home and make the meal and when you serve it everyone at the table says “I don’t like that, make something else”. You go back to the grocery store, buy more items, go back home, make anther meal and serve it again and someone says “I don’t eat that”. You rush back down to the store, pick up something else, heat it up when you get home, serve it, and again another voice “Eew, that’s gross, I don’t want that”. By the end of this escapade you would be exhausted, I’m tired just writing about it; however, when we are in people-pleasing mode this is exactly what happens to our spirit and let me tell you IT’S EXHAUSTED!
The guides say to look at life like a salad. If you fill your bowl with delicious greens, and healthy veggies you have the foundation of a nutritious meal. If you load up on croutons, cheese crumbles, and bacon bits, the meal might taste great, but there is little nutrition. When you give time and energy to debilitating thoughts and waste energy on people that don’t deserve it you’re eating the unhealthy salad. How will you feel after that? Bloated, fat and unhappy. If you eat a salad of greens and veggies, you feel nourished, alive and full of energy.
So here are two homework assignments – Yes, the guides love to give homework
First, find someone who can help role play the first scenario. Pick a day you can dedicate to this activity. Go to the store buy the items for your favorite meal let’s say spaghetti and meatballs, make it and serve it to your friend. Have him say he doesn’t like it and he really would love some chicken and rice. Physically go back to the store, purchase the items come home, cook it and serve it again. Have your friend role play again “Oh, I only eat white meat I’m sorry I didn’t tell you”. So now go back to the store a third time and buy the ingredients for lasagna. Make it and serve it once more. Have your friend remind you he is lactose intolerant. By that third trip (you will need a whole day for this activity LOL) you will be angry, tired, resentful, sad etc…just like we feel when someone is dissatisfied with us or we are with ourselves. When you feel this physical representation of what your negative thoughts and people-pleasing activities do to your self-worth you must STOP! You need to feed yourself first and once nourished then worry about others.
Now your second homework assignment is to make picture salad. You’ll need to gather some photos, a paper plate and scotch tape. In this salad the greens are photos of you, so fill up your plate with selfies. Next, take the photos of your loved ones – the protein if you will – and place them in a tighter circle around the center of the salad leaving the images of yourself fully visible around the edges of your plate. Finally, sprinkle pictures of friends, co-workers, pets, bosses, etc. on top of the foundation of your healthy salad. This picture salad is representative of the people you need to give importance to in your daily life. If you focus on those on top, the bacon and croutons, you won’t feel satisfied, but if you focus on yourself first you will feel healthful, invigorated and nourished. You will be able to enjoy the candied pecans and blue cheese in the small portions they are meant to represent and will feel full and energized.
The best part about this kind of diet is that it’s self-perpetuating. If you engineer your plate to these proportions today, it’ll make you feel so good you’ll want to make another again tomorrow.
So what’s for dinner? Whatever you want as long as it nourishes YOU! If the others don’t like it, let them have a bowl of cereal 🙂
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